Saturday, March 24, 2012
Live life
Over the past few days and weeks our community has lost a lot of great men of whom I respect. While I dont put myself on their level it really has caused me to stop and think. How quickly our lives can change. How quickly things can go from smooth sailing to uncharted waters choppy water.I think its caused me to reflect less on how I will or could die and the after effects and more on how I want to live. Less on my relationships in death and and more on my relationships in life. I am confident in my salvation. I want to take better care of myself. I want to eat better. I want to learn to slow down and relax more. I want to smile and laugh and be more carefree. I want to care less about the things that dont matter and more on the things that do. Less about the actions of those that arent important and more on the actions toward those those that do. I want to focus less on the things I have no control of and more on the things I can. I want to read the lecture be reminded thats 98% of the piddly things I worry about arent important at all. I dont know just a lot on my mind this morning. Just because you are breathing doesnt mean you are living.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Stopping smoking, depression, prayer and grace
Original FB post 08/11/2009 a lil update. Many of you know and have followed my quest to stop smoking (De quit as well). I can say that its has been over two months and getting easier. I know that some of you have followed the process. This process included a strange time for me that I chose not to hide. I had a hard time adjusting to not being on Chantix (meds used to stop smoking) during my withdrawels I battled a wide range of emotions one of the hardest to battle was depression. I allowed it to jump on me and I didnt realize it. I had become seriously down and irratable. I have an awesome life and the chemical imbalance tried to convince me otherwise. For a time it was succesful. I know that through the power of prayer and support I know feel as if I am stabalizing. I thank you all for your kind words, suggestions, concerns and prayers. I have learned that depression sucks. If you try to battle it alone it can and will whoop you. I only hope others who face it have someone who cares enough to point it out to you. I am grateful for De and Cambelle I havent been much fun but they have stood strong. I honestly think this has been a learning process for me. I think there were somethings that I was trying to hold on to. I think there were something I had control over and I could handle. I have been reminded the old adage let go let God. That phrase hasnt survived the years by accident. I promise. Thank you all for taking the journey as well. I leave with never be to stupid or proud to ask for help sometimes you have to hit your knees in submission before you are ready to get up.. Its a journey live it.
Standing at a crossroad. I have got to decide which fathers aproval I desire the most. I have one who I will never please nor satisfy their wants nor do enough for them. I have another who loves me unconditional not because of anything I've done nor anything I can do. One whom the more I do for the more he wants the other the more I do the more I receive and the more I want to do. I must choose who I will serve. I can't serve two masters it doesn't work
Trying to figure out. Do I want people to change because its good for them or because its good for me? Do I want people to be who they can be or who I think they should be? Do I pray for God will in my life and the life of others do I honestly want his will or my agenda.
Love my neighbor doesn't say just love the loveable or just those that look, act, or think or even believe like me. While I don't think loving your neighbor means to necessarily give them everthing they want. Somtimes loving your neighbor means saying no and allowing them to do for themselves. Neighbor can be substituded for friend, parent, child or even neighbor
Love my neighbor doesn't say just love the loveable or just those that look, act, or think or even believe like me. While I don't think loving your neighbor means to necessarily give them everthing they want. Somtimes loving your neighbor means saying no and allowing them to do for themselves. Neighbor can be substituded for friend, parent, child or even neighbor
. Whats on my mind this morning. For some reason prayer in school crossed my mind this morning. I was suddenly convicted and thought I would share what came to my heart and mind. I think its easy to complain about prayer being taken out of schools. I dont really think its the schools place there is no argument the world has gone downhill since it was removed but is that the problem? What struck me is really is it the schools place to instill prayer? I mean really any more than it is to enforce fashion. I really think where "I" (personal responsibility) fail is in the home. I should be worried far more that prayer isnt as prevelant in my home. I regret to say that I dont pray with my family daily. I dont pray with my kids nor my wife nearly as often as I should. Phil 4:6 I think I should be more worried about prayer in my heart and my home then I can attack the world. Its my job as a parent and a husband to lead my home. If I truly believe Joshua 24:15 I need to live it. I remember growing up my mom had a little plaque that said "The family that prays together stays together". The only person I am pointing fingers at is the man in the mirror.
I think for a long time I ran from God because all of the Christians I saw were "perfect". I knew that I could never measure up. Then I found out we are all sinners and all fall short. Jesus didnt say fix yourself become who I want you to be do all the right things and say all the right things then come to me. Nope he told me to come to him as a child comes to the father. I think I need to be reminded of my imperfections and reminded how short of the goal I come. Its then I remember its not what I have done or not done but by his saving grace alone. I think one of the reasons I try to be transparent and share is I dont want anyone to think Ive got it all figured out. I dont want anyone to think Ive got my stuff together and live the perfect life. Christians arent just the folks you see on Sunday mornings. Hopefully they are folks that have admitted they cant walk through this world alone and that there is no way to find joy or salvation but through him. I will never forget the day I got tired of going it alone though surrouned by many. AT that point all 400+ surrounding me didnt matter it was between me a God. I remember looking at Stump and say "Ive tried it my way I give up". I was tired of running, tired of searching and coming up empty. Man Im glad I did
I think for a long time I ran from God because all of the Christians I saw were "perfect". I knew that I could never measure up. Then I found out we are all sinners and all fall short. Jesus didnt say fix yourself become who I want you to be do all the right things and say all the right things then come to me. Nope he told me to come to him as a child comes to the father. I think I need to be reminded of my imperfections and reminded how short of the goal I come. Its then I remember its not what I have done or not done but by his saving grace alone. I think one of the reasons I try to be transparent and share is I dont want anyone to think Ive got it all figured out. I dont want anyone to think Ive got my stuff together and live the perfect life. Christians arent just the folks you see on Sunday mornings. Hopefully they are folks that have admitted they cant walk through this world alone and that there is no way to find joy or salvation but through him. I will never forget the day I got tired of going it alone though surrouned by many. AT that point all 400+ surrounding me didnt matter it was between me a God. I remember looking at Stump and say "Ive tried it my way I give up". I was tired of running, tired of searching and coming up empty. Man Im glad I did
Dont want to go to church
Driving home from Albany I began to think about just not going to church in the morning. I realize for some that not that big of a deal. I once only needed 1/2 an excuse. I had more I dont feel goods (yet I never miss work sick) and Ill just catch it on TV Sundays than I care to admit. Tonight I just wasnt feeling it. In those times Satan will jump on that throw fuel on the fire. What I like what ...I dont like etc. I think how easy it would be to just have a lazy pajama day of sleeping late and cooking and napping. I then realize that its the days I feel the least like going. Its the days that I honestly dont care if I go or not that I need to be there the most. I need to realize its not about my preferences or my anything. The only reason I need to be there is He is GOD and worthy of worship! I need to go to the well. Transparency
Failure of man
This morning I am thankful for those men of Christ who have failed/dissapointed me.
I was thinking this morning of failing others in their time of need and I guess it led me to think on those who have failed me. Could be something as simple as a time when I was looking for encouragement. Maybe someone who hasnt been there for me in my time of need even during a time I was crying help for help. Could move on to guys Ive worked with who were deacons and Gideons leaders of their church yet were constantly degrading others, telling off color jokes and always making lustful comments. The men who have coward down and not done the right thing. Maybe its the local business man who while I see then walk up right there is a rumor of unfair business practices. Maybe its the husband who while on the outside all is well is running around. I am thankful for each of these people in my life. If these people had not failed me I could easily place my faith in them. While its important to have mentors and its important to look up to fellow Christians we must be careful to not shift our focus from God to man. I am thankful for each man who has failed me in life I am even more grateful for a God who never has.
I was thinking this morning of failing others in their time of need and I guess it led me to think on those who have failed me. Could be something as simple as a time when I was looking for encouragement. Maybe someone who hasnt been there for me in my time of need even during a time I was crying help for help. Could move on to guys Ive worked with who were deacons and Gideons leaders of their church yet were constantly degrading others, telling off color jokes and always making lustful comments. The men who have coward down and not done the right thing. Maybe its the local business man who while I see then walk up right there is a rumor of unfair business practices. Maybe its the husband who while on the outside all is well is running around. I am thankful for each of these people in my life. If these people had not failed me I could easily place my faith in them. While its important to have mentors and its important to look up to fellow Christians we must be careful to not shift our focus from God to man. I am thankful for each man who has failed me in life I am even more grateful for a God who never has.
spiritual distraction
This morning on the way to my truck I realized that I have been distracted spiritually this week more so than usual. I began as "God this is me I know I havent been around". At that point it hit me God pretty much smacked me in the back of the head. That moment I realized God had not gone anywhere. God had not wandered. God had not been distracted/ God didnt need a reminder of who I am. I needed a reminder of who God is.
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