Good Friday God doesnt need me

Its Good Friday. The only positive religious comment I can muster in my current lukewarm state is. I am thankful that my salvation and my God is not dependent on me or anything I can do but on what He has done. Gods grace is sufficient even when I just aint feeling it. As a Christian this is a very reverent time of year and Im in just not where I need to be. Not really sure at this point. Im trying to figure out what Im holding back and whats standing in the way

Christianity as a hobby

If it were not for an empty grave Christianity would be nothing more than a very time consuming hobby. I dont have time for hobbies.

Fear of failure

Growing up my dad always told me " a man that doesnt make mistakes isnt doing anything". I always laughed and said I must stay pretty busy. I think I have allowed the fear of failure to replace my will to try succeed. I will never reach my full potential at anything untill I realize that failure can be overcome. I dont remember the last time I truly failed. This tells me I am not pushing myself hard enough.

Im a rich man

at a visitation for the sweet sweet grandmother of some friends of ours I had a man make a comment I hope to never forget. Going through the line speaking to family Carter had grown distracted. Cambelle and Carter were being brother and sister and he was climbing on me and she was taking his dog and other general aggravation. On our way out I politely nodded to an elderly fella and asked how he was. At that point he looked at me and said "Im ok and you are a very rich man". I realized that man saw more of me in those few moments than many will ever take the time to realize. While holding one child by the ankle reaching for his toy and another within inches and my wife just ahead he was right. Of course at his age (late 80's early 90's) he could have could not have cared less about my house, my job, my vehicles, vacation homes. Nope the man saw what really matters to me and realizes that all those other things dont matter in the grand scheme of things. I dont know his name but the old man was right and for the reminder I am thankful.

Hunger

If I hungered for Christ like I hunger for lunch I would be a totally different and more effective person. I mean this hunger is real, its gonna influence every decision between now and lunch and while I had something to eat for breakfast I know long for more. Oh yeah and if I only ate on Sunday mornings I would die but you can bet I would never miss a Sunday.

Tonight I am thankful for the reminder that as a Christian I am not called to try to be more like fellow believers. I am called to try to more like Christ. When we use other men as a reference point we will always be disappointed because they are human and they too fail. When we use Jesus as a reference point we will always have a goal and hope because he is more than human and will never fail.

Goal= To not just live but to live with intention. I want to be more intentional in everything I do. I want to be a more intentional husband, father, Christian, employee, friend, neighbor etc. With everything I do I want to do with focus and intention